Linda Cook review: Jeepers Creepers: Reborn is scary bad

Jeepers, is this awful. During the past 35 years, Ive seen about 8,000 movies no brag, just fact and this is in the top 20 of the worst. Im not talking enjoyably bad movies like Showgirls, Im referring to swill like Mac and Me and Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2.

Jeepers, is this awful.

During the past 35 years, I’ve seen about 8,000 movies – no brag, just fact – and this is in the top 20 of the worst. I’m not talking enjoyably bad movies like “Showgirls,” I’m referring to swill like “Mac and Me” and “Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2.”

“Jeepers Creepers: Reborn” is garbage.

The original isn’t the best horror movie ever made, but darned if it isn’t intriguing: The idea of a creature that comes out to feed every 23 years, and uses the body parts of its human victims, is unnerving.

In a brief segment at the beginning, sharp-eyed film aficionados will recognize Dee Wallace, familiar to generations as the mom in “E.T.” Her cameo cannot save this film.

The main characters are a couple named Chase and Laine, who plan to attend the HorrorHound Festival (this is an actual event, by the way.) The movie, even at a skimpy 95-minute running time, is padded with such cliche sequences as Laine trying on outfits before they leave.

Laine has premonitions that something is amiss, and begins to realize that the urban legends about the Creeper aren’t really myths.

The plot is almost nonexistent, and the acting is almost  inexcusable.

I presume some kind of copyright prevented the use of the original “Jeepers Creepers” song featured in the first movie. The substitute tune is super-annoying.

From everything I’ve read, this was supposed to be a reboot of the franchise. Sometimes this idea works, and sometimes it doesn’t. This isn’t close to a true reboot of the first films.

This has been the year for great horror movies – “Black Phone,” “Barbarian” and “Pearl,” to name a few. But possibly to balance the cinematic cosmos, there have been some duds too.

“Jeepers Creepers: Reborn” is the worst of the worst. Other current horror films are worthy of your time and money … but not this one. It’s, well, scary bad.

0 stars

Running time: 95 minutes.

Rated: R for sexual situations, foul language and gore.

At Cinemark, Davenport, and Regal, Moline.

Watch the trailer here.

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