Terry Connelly | | The Guardian

Life dealt Terry Connelly, who has died aged 53, a lousy hand from the start. The fact that he survived as long as he did was a testament to his strength and to those who loved and helped him. Within a year or so of his birth in Whitechapel, east London, his mother, who had

This article is more than 18 years oldObituary

Terry Connelly

This article is more than 18 years oldLife dealt Terry Connelly, who has died aged 53, a lousy hand from the start. The fact that he survived as long as he did was a testament to his strength and to those who loved and helped him

Life dealt Terry Connelly, who has died aged 53, a lousy hand from the start. The fact that he survived as long as he did was a testament to his strength and to those who loved and helped him.

Within a year or so of his birth in Whitechapel, east London, his mother, who had tuberculosis, was certified insane and died. Terry was already in the care of the LCC children's department, which, the file records, did not consider him suitable for adoption because he was "half caste". He was also in poor physical condition and in his early years was frequently in and out of hospital.

Around his fifth birthday, he was sent to a group home of some eight children in Harold Hill, Essex, where he began a wonderful relationship with a woman he knew as Aunty Vi. She adored Terry and he loved her dearly. At seven, he was allocated a social worker named Marigold, who became his lifelong friend.

Because Terry had learning difficulties, however, he needed to be in a place for children with special needs. As his mother had been Catholic, he was sent to a Catholic orphanage near Guildford. He was most unhappy and became mute, having failed to find the love and affection he had received earlier. It was a traumatic time until Marigold's mother, Eve, took him under her wing. She and Terry bonded immediately; for the rest of his life, he was a part of her family, spending each Christmas Day for the last 12 years with Marigold's sister, Rosemary, and her husband, David. After leaving the orphanage at 16, Terry went into a hostel and began working. He had various unskilled jobs and sought escape from the pain in his life in alcohol. But he also found solace in the love of friends and family.

Whenever he could, he would visit Marigold and the family in Brighton. He loved the town so much that he decided to move there, and worked as a kitchen porter in hotels or pubs. For some years he had a steady hotel job, to which he would walk each day from his home in Hove. He was never late. Sadly, last year he was sacked, unjustly he felt. He won an out-of-court settlement but never fully recovered from the blow.

Terry experienced some of the health problems associated with alcohol dependency, but they never seemed life-threatening and his sudden death was shocking. He had many wonderful qualities, and throughout remained a kind, gentle and loving person, in spite of the mistreatment he received from those who took advantage of a generous, yet simple, soul. Terry achieved a lot. He learned to love because he had been loved.

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